Jokes, Funnies, Etc.

tjbaughn · Post by **tjbaughn** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 3:57 pm

I must be the Pilot in this joke

THE PILOT AND THE PREACHER

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Peter Pilot, retired Delta Airlines from Georgia." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Next it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, " I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's in Pasadena for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "When you preached - people slept;
When he flew - people prayed.

HS1 · Post by **HS1** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:13 pm

Oh I like that!

What do you bet we'll get some Fokker jokes?

IslandBum · Post by **IslandBum** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 10:29 pm

If I may continue on this theme -- And please I hope that the faithful amongst us wont be to offended.

A gent dies and goes to heaven - At the pearly gates hes met by St Peter you says he will give the new entrant a tour of
heaven. So they hop in St Peters Silver Honda Hybrid and drive around heaven - The gent notices that everything is
exactly the same - Everyone in Heaven has a Honda hybrid, everyone has a nice little house with exactly the same square
footage , and amenities,He questions St Peter about this - and St Peter answers "Here in heaven all gods children are equal"

Finally they stop for lunch at a Cafeteria and are waiting in line when through the windows the gent sees a Ferrari pull up
in the parking lot and a tall older man with sun glasses , an Armani suit and two very attractive female angels get out.

The man walks into the Cafeteria - pushes past everyone and gets his lunch and goes and displaces two old parties sitting at a
table by the window.

The gent looks at St Peter and says - " I thought you said that everybody was equal here in heaven?" Whats the story on that
guy? that hes got the Girl, gold watch and everything?"

St Peter llooked across the room to where the man in the sunglasses was eating his lunch and said.........................

"Oh thats just God, he thinks hes an Airline Captain"

I know - I'll get my coat

Leif

tjbaughn · Post by **tjbaughn** » Sat Oct 20, 2007 11:27 pm

Nice one Leif! I hope this section catchs on maybe we can all get a good laugh every once in a while!

flightsimer · Post by **flightsimer** » Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:47 am

Turner Brown
> >
> >
> > A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
> >
> > HUGE black guy standing next to him.
> > The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says:
> > "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner
> > Brown."
> > The white man faints and falls to the floor.
> > The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says:
> >
> >
> >
> > "What's wrong with you?"
> >
> > In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
> >
> > The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
> > you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet
> > tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles
> > weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."
> >
> > The small guy says: "Turner Brown, Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn
> > around."